My Life

12:28am: OMG

Has it seriously been that long??? I"m so sorry for neglecting you all.  I have a Myspace account, you should get one!!!! :)  anyway, things are good, i'm graduated from school, got a new job, start on the 18th.  Abby is 1 year old, not walking yet though, it's depressing, but i'll deal, and Lilly is way way way toooo big!!!  anyway i'm tired and headed out to bed.  I"ll get on with new pictures soon.  I MISS YOU ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!  LOTS AND LOTS... sorry i'ts been so long, i forgot about this place sometiems.....

MORGAN!  Chin up sweetie, you know i'm always here for you , come visit anytime, i have plenty of space!

7:22pm: Nursing school
If it doesn't kill me i don't know what will.............

11:06pm: As of 10:08 pm
This evening, my life came a crumbling....Josh got the call.... I dunnow hat i'm going to do. They didnt say for sure he was going so i'm trying to stay positive, but they did say that he was going to be activated and they want him to join the regular reserves so he can get some bonus money....ughhhh I'm dealing though, i think i'll be ok no matter what happens god will bring me through it.

12:39am: I know
I shouldn't care, but damnit, i wish my baby was crawling!!!!! She's 8 months and I feel like she's falling behind, because she isn't crawling yet, I"m gonna work with her all day tomorrow, I want her to start moving around!!!! How old were yours when they started crawling? She gets on all 4's Rocks back and forth, then falls forward, then rolls then scoots back, anything but crawling!!! ARGHHH

ok vent over...

12:31am: I almost forgot!
It's Sat. AM but i forgot to let you all know, abigail has an Upper GI this morning at 11:30 AM. Please keep her in your thoughts, we aren't sure what is wrong, but she frequently has difficulty breathing, so DR is checking her out, thank god i finally switched doctors!!!!! i'll let you know the results.

12:25am: My Plans for the New Year
Quit Smoking-- On day 6 of t hat one :)

Loose 70 lbs---- Still at 204

Graduate from College and get my RN license

Work on a Labor and Delivery floor or a NICU floor

Maybe sell our house and get a bigger one

Plan a new baby A BOY PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!

Spend more time playing and less time wathcing TV or yelling.

LOVE MY LIFE AND FAMILY because they are everything to me....

1:43am: Happy 2007
Happy New year everyone hope you had a good one!!!!! :) I SURE DID!

8:47am: if it's not one thing.....
it's another, Lillian has the flu. the coughing flu, she won't stop coughing. I"m taking her into the ER she's been up for 5 hours coughing straight, and nothing is stopping it, i'm worried she's going to go into respiratory failure... Please pray for her, and keep abby in your prayers too i hope to god she doesn't get it!!!! Goodness I wonder if i'll ever get a break.

6:57am: Results are back...
The results for Lillian's test came back today. No Reflux. It was a horrible experience though. Since they cancelled her we had to take her in at 6am on tuesday. They gave her 6mg of Versed, to calm her down before taking her in but it really didn't work that well, so they took her back to the OR screaming her lungs out for me, it was rough. Then about 1hr 30 minutes later they came to get me and she had an IV in, with blood all over her hand. Poor baby, and she was PISSED, boy was she pissed.... screaming and crying and mad and agitated. We went upstairs for the test, they got her in the X ray room and ran the dye into her bladder. Well they had told me when she had to pee they'd take it out and let her. Sh ewas screaming that she had to pee about half way through and the stupid X-ray techs said Oh we need her to get it all in her. OMG she cried and screamed and wiggled..... I felt soo HORRIBLE!!!!!! I wanted to just say I QUIT, no we aren't doing this anymore, but the nursing student in me said you have to finish it won't kill her. So we finished, and the X-ray tech didn't know how to take out the foley, so i had to explain to her how to do it. She got it out and then they made Lillian pee on the table!!!!! Weird right?? We get done, go down to the discharge area, and they made her eat some food and drink a little and then took the IV out and sent us home. She cried the first few times she peed, but now she seems to be better. She took a nap and when she woke up from the nap she asked what happened to her hand( there was a bandaid at the IV site) She doesn't remember a thing about the whole experience THANK GOD!!!!! She seemed awfully agitated after they brought her out, which told me she still had anesthsia and the VERSED in her system. So i'm thakful that the results came back normal, but worried about what it might be as well. We have an appt in 2 weeks with the Urologist and then on the 17th with the pediatric nephrologist. Hopefully we'll get some answeres...but i can tell you I won't let them do that again. What i don't understand is why they couldn't let her stay asleep during the whole thing..... ya know? It's not like it mattered that she said she had to pee, they still kept putting the dye in her! Makes me mad!

Also today she broke out all over her right cheek and under her nose and SCREAMS that it hurts. What do you think this might be? It looks like a rosy red face/cheeks and under her nose is raw from the boogies..... I put a cold washcloth on it, but havne't seen anything like this before, gonna make a dr appt for her tommorrow. Thanks for listening!

4:38am: Quickie
Alright, here's a quick update.

Toook lillian in fnor the test on Tuesday, they cancelled her because her X-ray showed double lung pneumonia. hmmmm isn't that what i said???? So i took her to a Differeent pediatrician and he gave us antibiotics and we have another test scheduled for Tuesday the 19th! They both seem to be doing a little bit better now anyways......

4:53am: this is going to be LONG but worth the read
OK.... Where do I begin. I haven't updated lately because of all the stuff that has beeng going on here. First of all, Lillian has been sick for well over a year now. EVER time we go to the doctors she has blood in her Urine. It started off as 1 + blood, and then went to 2 and now it's at 3. The peditrician's office just sat around and told me it was because she got too much calcium. But her calcium in her urine wasn't high, h er BUN or creatinine aren't elevated. But her little vagina is sooo red, probably from the infections thatshe's been having. So anyways they kept sending me back in for a urinalysis over and over and over, until finally I decided to say HEY... look" This isn't going to change, it's been here for a eyar, it keeps getting worse, you've done and ultrasound, now don't you think it's time to get a second opinion?" No no no, we'll do another Urinalysis. So I called the next morning *after 2 weeks of runing her urine and 2 weeks of them seeing she has blood in her urine* and asked for a referell to a urologist. IT IS THEN, that the dr decides that she was going to refer h er to a pediatric nephrologist. But only when i called to say i was taking her to urologist. So anyways, I decided to take her to the urologist on my own, he ran her urine. it was raging with infection, so he put her on Bactrim for 10 days. We ran her urine at the end of those 10 days and BAM no more blood. He goes on to tell me that she may have Vesicourtal Reflux. Which is where her urine is backing up into her kideny and causing the blood and infection, in which case she'll need to be on antibiotics long term, until it resolves itself. Well 5 days go by and it's Monday December 4th and Lillian spikes a fever of 103.8. I take her to the dr, and she's got 3+ blood in her urine again, but they assure me it's just a viral infection, nothing wrong with her, give her tylenol and motrin and back as needed. OK>.... go home, tylenol and motrin, for 4 days my daughter ran a temp of 104.0 and it broke on Friday. I have an Intravenous Pylelogram scheduled for tuesday to look at her bladder and kidneys to see if she is Refluxing, I also called the nephrologist, got my referral, and she has an appointment there on January 17th. She now has a cough and whan i believe to be Pneumonia, but the damn dr keeps telling me it's VIRAL!!!!! UGHHHHHH, needless to say once i figure this all out, i'm calling a lawyer.

NExt....Abigail spiked a temperature of 102.3 on friday, i took her to thedr, and she said its' viral as well, toldme cold and cough medicine and tylenol. sooooo I listen, we went to the hospital to get a CBC and chest CX-ray just in case. CBC come back, she's anemic so we have to give her iron supplements, b ut the blood work shows Viral illness.. Ok.... So i just was so upset by this , I mean abby is SICK...can't breathe, grunting, etc.. I know something is wrong. But what can you do if the dr wont' do anyting??? I decide we need to get away, so we went to an indoor waterpark for the weekened.. Get a call on Saturday afternoon, Abigail has right lower lobe pneumonia...... So we had to come bafck home to get the medicine, it's not working, she's not peeing, she's got diarrhea, so i'm sure she's dehyrdating, and I"M JUST STREESSSED OUT!!!! I don't want to go to the ER it's the worst place for her, but she won't eat....and not peeing, i just don't know what to do, and I'm sure Lillian has the same thing,b ut when i called to aske them to callme in a prescription for her they told me it's her Asthma acting up to give her breathing treatments!!! ARGHHH.... wh at would you do?

On top of this all my last week of class is this wee and i failed my last nursing test during all of this stressfulness, so i have to get a good grade on the next or I"M DONE!!!!!

4:48pm: Lookie here
This is some videos .. One is of Lillian talking about a Little Bug in the bathroom, I couldn't find it though. And Then later on she told her Aunt that the bug was g oing to eat her, because it thought she was Delicious!!!!! The other 2 are abby. One is her sitting up.. the next is her doing tummy time, i was tring to get her to smile!!!

Lillian - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cLlqgU0Y9z0

Abby Sitting http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-7jqEut8TsU

Abby Tummy Time http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qKaKAa5u1zw

5:10am: Another Toother
Yesterday Abigail cut her second tooth. The bottom right one!!!!! YAY Abby!!!! :) She's sitting up unsupported for longer now.

3:44pm: Milestones!
Abby got her bottom left tooth on November 1st. I can see 3 otheres ready to cut, but just not there yet. She did excellent with it!!! And Yesterday she started sitting up on her own...... :) My baby is growing up so quickly!!!! She's even saying Ma ma....it's soo cute. Now just to get her to EAT!!! She refuses to eat cereal or baby food!!!! She ate it for a while, but these last few days she's been on a refusal binge. I"m not forcing her though... She gets her first set of shots t his month..... I"m worried about those, i hate vaccinations. I know she needs them, but I can still hate them!!!

9:47pm: Happy Halloween!!!
Hope everyone has a wonderful Halloween.. Have fun Trick or Treatting with your little ones!! Lillian is a PRincess Ariel and Abigail is Tigger. We are doing wonderful. School is taking off I"m in Ped's now. Taking care of little children, so that is a lot different than Birthing babies. I"m not too sure how much i like it now, it mostly makes me m iss my kids at home and wish i could spend this time with them ya know? Hmmmm dunno really what else to say. OOOOO Abigail weighs 17 lbs!!!! HOLY CRAP!!!!!!! She gets mostly breastmilk too, sometimes I'll give her cereal or baby food, but not often..... She's gaining like a heffer on me, it's ok thogh she's an adorable chubby baby!!!!! She's all smiles when I"m around which is nice that she loves me that much ya know?

photo hosting

4:01pm: Check this out!

9:14pm: long time!
We are doing good, staying busy, sorry i'm not updating, tryin to study and plan a b-day party, lilly will be 3 on the 18th, and we are having her party on Sunday, soooooo YAY!! right? Gotta go abby is a screamin!

3:25pm: pics of the girls!

3:56pm: Please keep our family in your prayers, josh's grandfather passed away on thursday at 6:40 pm.

1:25am: Hey everyone!
WHOA!
Current mood: exhausted

LOL i know i've been a stranger to t he blog lately, but having 2 is taking it's toll on me. Let's see.. Abigail is quite the clingy little baby, she loves to be talked to and held and walked and talked to.....loli know i already said that.... Lillian is almost 3!!!!; OMG 3 years old, my lil girl is almost 3 y ears old...... Where did the time go???? She's so big, she does gymnastics and swimming, and absolutely loves her baby sister, i couldn't ask for a better little girl. Abigail on the other hand is a whiner, she screams alot.... sometimes i just seriously have to walk away cuz i dunno what to do with her. She's finally sleeping thru the night, but only sometimes, and she tends to cry until i'm so exhausted i bring her into bed with me because i need sleep. Josh is doing ok, has thrown his back out on various occasions, including our most recent trip to cedar point, which landed him in the hospital and us with a bill we can't afford. My sister got into a car accident, and my brother almost got killed by a tree. IT's been crazy around here, JOsh's grandpa is getting hospice care which means in 6 months or so we are gonna be s aying goodbye to him, and HIs mother has a brain aneurysm, that we are trying to get the drs' to take care of..... So plenty has been happening in my neck of the woods..... Lillian starts schoolin a few weeks, and so do I, my last year of nursing, WOW!!!!!! I"m excited but scared, dunno how i'm gonna do it with two, but i'm sure I'll find a way. OHHHH and we are moving to Florida within the next 2 years... as soon as josh finishes Paramedic school we are gonna take our butts to florida, we miss the warm weather of the south!!! so hopefully i'll be able to visit a lot of you guys then:) Talk to ya soon!

1:01pm: Were all doing ok..... Just wanted to let ya'll konw... I know i don't update much but going from 1 to 2 is rough!

11:51pm: Sorry it took so long
Here are the pictures i can get up for now. Sorry it took so long to get them up :) I'm already ready for a vacation, bu t only away fromt he ASSHOLE hubby not my girls... I LOVE MY GIRLS!! :)


Here is me at 38.5 weeks, the day before i had her.


This is the minute they handed her to me. I edited it.. Hope no one gets offended, but i can't see why you would.


This was right after her APGAR testing under the warmer


AFter her first bath


First Pic with Big Sister


Abby and Lillian at one week old


Abby One Week old


And this one was taken tonight. at 12 days old

9:25am: Birth Story
I went to the hospital on Wednesday morning at 6:30 am to be induced. When I arrived they informed me that they wouldn't get to me until 8 am so to go eat some breakfast, and come back. So we went to big boys and I had my last breakfast, and was so nervous i really couldn't eat anyways. When we got back to the hospital at 8 am, my midwife came in and checked me. From the contractions I had all night and the sweeping my membranes on Tuesday my cervix had came forward *YAY* and I was at a 3cm and 80% effaced. So she reached up there and broke my water. That was around 8:30 AM. I didn't want pitocin, because i was scared that if i had it I wouldn't be able to go natural, so i walked the halls of the hospital for a good 2 -3 hours, but my contractions wouldn't come regular enough or strong enough. So t hey started me on the Pit drip at around 11am. And I continued to walk around. It was weird, because with the contractions water would come gushing out, as I'm walking down the hallway. So at around noon or so my nurse decided to go on break, and they other nurse on the floor was covering me, I got up to walk around some more and the heartbeat monitor fell off me, i figured it was no big deal, it's not like they can track the heartbeat while i' walking anyway. But that nurse noticed, and made me put it back on. Well while she was in there I had a contractions and Abby's heartrate fell to the 80's. So she made me lay in bed and thru another contraction her heartrate dipped again. I flipped to m y left side, another contraction and another dip. NOw by this time i was sooo scared. All I could think was what is going on? Are they gonna rush me to a C-Section?? And the nurse didn't want to tell me anything, i wanted MY NURSE BACK, and i wanted this crazy lady out of my room. She turned off my pitocin, and then Abby was fine, and continued to state "This is why they shouldn't break the water" and "Some babies' just don't react well to pitocin" I was so scared. But about 10 minutes later my nurse came in and so did my midwife ( Corrinne) she explained to me that it was probably the umbilical cord being compressed when i had a contraction, and that if it continued that way she would do an amnio infusion, no c-sections. She calmed me down GREATLY and i could breath and be happy. So I stayed on my left side for a while, and remembered to breathe DEEPLY through contractions so my lil girl could get all the oxygen she needed. At this point i realized i would complicate things if i wanted an epidural at all, so i decided to go all natural, I wanted to anyway, but that really made my mind up for me. Around 2pm the contractions started to come harder, where i had to breathe through them, and i was fine to talk to everyone in between. Abby's heartrate continued to dip through the contractions as well, so finally they decided to do internal monitoring, which was fine with me because there was no way i was going to leave the room in the amount of pain i was feeling!!! And i'd like to have a good trace of her little heartbeat. So they checked me and I was at a 5cm and 100% effaced, they tried to break my scar tissue from the Leep I had in July, but couldn't, MAN THAT WAS PAINFUL... put the monitors in there and took those outside ones off, THANK GOD. I hate those things. I asked the nurse w hen they would check me again, and she said probably when i started to ask for pain medicine. So i labored until about 4pm, when the contractions where just getting too painful for me to get through on my own, so i asked about what they had to take that edge off. They checked me and i was at a good 6cm and the scar tissue had broke. So she gave me a dose of Nubain. MAN that stuff made me feel like i was drunk or something, but only that first shot of it. It took the edge off the pain for about an hour , and I had another shot of it at 5 pm. I remember looking at the clock and thinking Ok, make it until 6 pm Alisha you can do this! They flipped me over onto knee to chest position on the bed, to see how that would work, andI labored like that for a while, until Abby's heartrate fell to the 60's. the nurse came in to flip me around and i told her I had to pee. So I sat up on the side of the bed and had a contraction, walked into the bathroom, another contraction.. They started to get stronger, and I began to feel really uneasy. When i got off the toilet to go back to bed the nurse had left the room for a moment, because i told her how i felt, and she had smiled at me... It hought it was odd, but wasn't caring at that moment. When i got near the bed another contraction came, and MAN DID IT HURT.. I told josh i was done, I couln'dt do this anymore, get the epidural guy, i'm not strong enough. The feeling was so strong, i was so nervous and scared, and suddenly felt i was going to puke. Josh told me no your not... It was quite funny to think about later, bu t at the time i wanted to tell hime YES I AM!!! Then Corinne came in with the nurse *the midwife* and i told her how i was feeling, and she smiled and said lets check you. I laid down on the bed, she smiled and said Let's have a baby!! I was COMPLETE!!!!! She told me to practice push, and I did. And she said ok, lets push, you push when you feel the need to ok. So i did, and she told me when to slow down and go easy. And with 3 pushes, Abby's head was out, and one more push and out came her body and she was laying on me. It was the most amazing moment ever. C orinne just sat on the side of my bed, she didnn't break it down, there were no stirrups NOTHING, it was so natural I LOVED IT. I didn't rip or tear, and I was up walking shortly afterwards. :)


NOw to the parts that I didn't really want in the birth story but are worth mentioning. Before we left for the hospital we couldn't find Lillian's blankie, so on the DAY OF Little sisters birth, we loose the most precious thing ever to Lillian, i felt like such an insufficient mother. *Me maw donna did find it latler that day*

When the Dr checked me at 5pm and I was still at a 6 cm ... shortly after they flipped me to my hands and knees, everyone left the hospital room to go smoke. Eveyrone being My MOM, Sister, and Best Friend TIRA. Everyone that wanted to see Abby be born. So Josh and my good friend andi were left behind. In the 15 minutes they were gone, I went from 6cm to Complete and pushed abby out, they walked in 40 seconds after she came out. I felt horrible for my mom, but i coulnd't hold her in there, it was too painful, I had to push her out, but we got plenty of pictures so she got to ssee it in photos!!!


Gotta go pics to come but Abby is hungry!

7:10pm: she is here
Just real quick..

Abigail Elizabeth arrived on Wed May 10th at 6:05 pm, 10 hours after my water broke.

She is 8 lbs 5 oz
21 inches
14 inch head

She is absolutely beautiful and breastfeeding is going well. She's excellent and Lillian is adjusting well. I"m doing good, I did it all natural :) so i'm quite proud of myself.

1:19pm:

Belly pic for 37 weeks I"ll put another up before i have her :)